So the other night, I watched Last of the Mohicans with buddy Brandon.This sparked a slew of decent ideas, and I got to typing. Then I realized that no one really wants to read a book report, or a comparative essay. The book and the 1992 film are very different. That's what you need to know. Really, all that needs discussing is Cora's dumbassy decision not to marry Duncan Heyward. (I'm not just saying this because of my well-documented thing for gingers.) Attractive, uniformed, sincere Duncan. I mean, he's going places. And they've known each other since childhood, so there's an excellent foundation in place. He's civilized. Educated. Not prone to showoffy behavior. Aaaand on the other hand, we have Hawkeye, who fancies himself something he's not on so many levels, is hot-tempered, and develops a very unhealthy infatuation with Cora in like eight minutes, when his mind should be on other things. Seriously, they've been hanging out for, what, two days, and he's willing to risk being hanged just so he can stay close to her? Not sweet. Creepy. And really, really dumb. Duncan wouldn't have done anything so stupid. No, he waits until the end to pull his self-sacrifice card, and it works. Because he, you know, knows the girl. It's a lot more effective than Natty "oooh, look at me jump over a waterfall" Bumppo's foolhardy antics for a chick he can't possibly have real feelings for. Cora just got distracted by all the fringe and that big ol' gun, I think.
Here, Hawkeye attempts to lure us in with a smoldering gaze and a low-cut blouse.
To our right, a cool and in-control Duncan negotiates...oh, who cares what he's doing? That's a hot plate of sweet ginger goodness, and that's what matters.