A quest to make sense of it all. Or a sense to make a quest of it all.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Origins.

Mom: You need to read some romance novels. For the humor.
Me: I've read one. No thanks.
Mom: You're not supposed to take them seriously. That's what's wrong with you.
Me: Excuse me?
Mom: You say you're incapable of feeling romantic toward people anymore, right? You need some romance novels so you can remember.
Me: Oh, good grief. Romance novels are too ridiculous. Reading them would just depress me.
Mom: How would something so stupid depress you?
Me: One, they raise expectations way too high and no man can ever live up to those expectations. Secondly, they all glorify the damsel-in-distress theme. I don't need rescuing! They're all blahblahblah, gorgeous girl needs handsome man in order to feel happy and blahblah..
Dad: Oh, let's just all drink some herbal tea and re-read The Bell Jar.

A couple hours later, watching TV:
Dad: Ugh. I hate Zales commercials.
Me: Why's that?
Dad: For the same reason you hate romance novels.

4 comments:

freudiantypo said...

Hee hee! You should read one just so you can parody it. You could write a role reversal, or do it up with gender bending. Or just make the heroine a strong, smart woman whose self-worth is not entangled with her sexuality, which will turn would-be steamy scenes of passions into abrupt shoot-downs and change the character of the bodice-ripper forever!

sarah saint said...

You have started a revolution in one paragraph.

I'm flinging aside my corset and putting on a sweatshirt with embroidered cats all over it!

...heh heh...just kidding, fellas. How about an embroidered corset?

freudiantypo said...

How about a bookish lesbian falls for an oblivious, shopaholic drag queen who is her maid?

Lakisha's fingers brushed Cale's when she took the jar of Glade carpet powder from him. Their eyes locked.

"I don't like for my carpet to smell like apple cinnamon," she breathed, starting to feel faint.

He leaned closer, hands on his hips, and whispered, "Why don't you let me be the judge of what your carpet smells like..."

sarah saint said...

Haha! Bravo. That would be a bestseller, for sure. It just needs a title...