A quest to make sense of it all. Or a sense to make a quest of it all.

Monday, February 07, 2011

Oh, yeah.

Received this text:
"I like you a lot. I'm trying to let you lead because I have a history of scaring you off and I don't want to do that. So please don't think I'm not into you just because I've been playing close to the vest. "

I don't know how to deal with this, so I'm going to take a page from the Guy handbook:

AVOID. Ignore. When the texts reach ridiculous volume or I realize I'm hurting another human being with my indifference, I'll give a vague "sorry, I was ____, hope your day got better. gotta go, text ya later!". double points if the ___activity is something that no human would need 12 hours to do and wouldn't have had their phone with them. But if he rightfully points out this disrespect and wants to know why I couldn't have just said "I don't feel like texting/talking about this right now, but there's not a problem", I am required to call him crazy and say he's overreacting. He will then feel more confused and will further seek my approval, which will make this mess bigger than it had to be. I will be about 60% to blame but will still come out on top.

It's a power struggle, see? The bigger jerk you are, the more upper hand you've got. And who doesn't want the upper hand, even if it makes you d-bag of the year?

I'm not serious, of course. I'm a lot of things, but "cruel" isn't one of them. And he's a seriously awesome guy. So I told him the truth: the issue isn't him, at all. It's entirely me and my skittish nature and aversion to meaningful relationships. I'm sorry that he's gotta deal with the baggage the last guy left on my emotional doorstep. But I'm working on it.

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