A quest to make sense of it all. Or a sense to make a quest of it all.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010


To make it short, last night Michael sent me a slew (like, 30) text messages detailing how he misses me, has to see me, and how "what we shared transcends time." He also begged to drive the hour to come see me, and then suggested we get together for dinner the next night. I haven't heard from him since the last time we made a huge, ridiculous mess out of our initial potential perfection (a couple months ago). It took me several texts last night to figure out he was sloshed. I told him I didn't think his girlfriend would approve, to which he responded, characteristically, "I do what I want". I told him I didn't think he should drive anywhere in his condition, but that I'd meet him for dinner the next night.

This morning, he sent a couple of texts basically taking it all back. This is karma paying me back for all the times I've said something I didn't mean while under the influence.

I'm finding it hard to breathe. I've barely thought about him lately, and that was awesome. For him to bust back into my head like this is inexcusable. I loved this man. Why? I can't even remember right now, but I know I did and when he said he knew I was The One, I accepted that blindly and then when it ended I had to force myself to get out of bed for a long time. And today all that came back.

Then I got out of bed, went to work, and that was a fresh hell.

Thank God for hot&sour soup and Bill Corbin, because nothing else today made me smile. Except maybe this text from Brandon:

"Un*&^ingbelievable. I could seriously kill that man for you. I really, really hope that somehow he meets an accident wherein an unlubed zebra hoof is shoved up his ass."

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