A quest to make sense of it all. Or a sense to make a quest of it all.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Yeah, I got something else.

* I hate when bad things happen to my friends and I am unable to do anything to ease their pain. Deaths, divorces, bad breakups, job loss...it's all happened to people I love, and it seems like it's all happened in the last month. I wish I could just...I dont know, hug them and say magic words or something to fix everything. I can't. I love them and I can't. If I could make sure everyone could stay employed or not have to quit school or lose their grandparents or find out their spouses are having affairs or find out the guy who abused them just got out of prison or be protected from a husband who's suddenly violent...my God, what wouldn't I do for my friends if I could? But what can I do?

* Know how I mentioned the nature of love in my last post? I think real love, for a partner or a friend or family member, is just putting their needs before your own. This is something I'm sure good parents can understand...26 year olds? Not so much. But it keeps me visiting my granny even though the nursing home bothers me so bad that I cry all the way home. And it keeps me from taking advantage of emotional vulnerability in people for my own wants. I'm an odd bird...I know that. I see things differently, and I dont think theres much wrong with a teeny bit of selfishness. But there's right and wrong, and the two become clearer as you get older and you just want the best for the people you care about...even if what's best for them isn't you, or isn't you yet...or anymore.

* The diet Pepsi at Taco Bell has that same chalky flavor at every Taco Bell in the United States. What is that???

* I know more about yearning than I ever wanted to.

* Let's have a better time in 2011, ok, Universe? Please?

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