A quest to make sense of it all. Or a sense to make a quest of it all.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Seriously, go. Or don't go.

This is the scariest thing I have ever seen. Ever.

Monday, September 08, 2008


Over the last few years, I've noticed a peculiar trend: women of a certain name causing problems in my life. Women who have made fun of me. Women who have left messes for me to clean up. The name? Amanda.

I think the first Amanda who made me shake my fist at the heavens was a Jones; we were in the same fourth grade science class at Kempsville and she was still openly into Barbies, which, to me, was a serious social faux pas; you do not announce to the world that you still love Midge and Skipper at that advanced age. That stuff is private. Anyway, she was also into my best friend, Kristine, and stole her from me. Bitch.

Since then, an average of 1.6 Amandas per year have proven to be thorns in my paw. Amanda B., my husband's ex-girlfriend, tried absolutely everything she could think of to get him back, and in doing so, annoyed the holy hell out of us both. Amanda W., who was the office manager at Scott before I took over the position... now there's an Amanda to whom I'd really like to write a strongly worded letter. She left the entire business in such disarray that even after a year of working there, I was still picking up after her. I left Scott and started a new job, taking the place of an Amanda N., who was also a prolific slacker.

These are but a few of the Amandas I've had reason to harbor ill will toward. They have all been shapely and attractive, with light brown hair and an apparent hatred for girls named Sarah. Is it that "Amanda" is a common enough name that there could, as a matter of statistics, be that many bad apples and I've just had the misfortune of encountering a disproportionate number of them? Does that even make any sense? I doubt it. No, what I think makes more sense is that the Universe is intentionally throwing all its shoddy Amandas at me. I think that somewhere out there, someone is marveling at all the fantastic Amandas he or she has known. I hate this person. To my recollection, I've only known two Amandas I've liked: the Cato girl Amanda and the Memphian Amanda. They are bright lights in a world full of dark Amanda-gloom.

I don't think I could come up with a more pointless post.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

I'm not dead. I'm at Lindsey's. And when I get home, I will post something magnificent (for the first time ever)... maybe even a picture as well. 

P.S. I haven't been at Lindsey's all this time. I have been lazy all this time. I'm just in Memphis at this moment.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

In chronological order.

Sarah: OMG this is gonna be so fun! I can't wait to see Ansley again. And how cool of her to let us stay with her. I mean, Jessie and Allen would have, but it's already crowded over there.
Brandon: I know! And I'm excited that I'm gonna get to see American Aquarium. Ansley's heard of them.
Sarah: Let's find some good sushi!
Brandon: Yeah!
Together: *merriment*
7/24/2008- on the way to Huntsville
Brandon: I just got a text from Ansley!
Sarah: What's it say? What's it say?
Brandon: I can't.
Sarah: Oh, secret stuff?
Brandon: No, it says "I can't".
Sarah: Um, wtf?
Brandon: I'll text her.
*texting and silence. beep-beep*
Brandon: "Long story, but I can't come. Will explain later. Hvae fun"
Sarah: I take it we can't stay there. Ok, we'll stay with Jessie. I'll call her.
*dial. ring.*
Jessie: Hello? *voice sounds sad*
Sarah: Uh, hey. You ok?
Jessie: Yeah, I'm ok.
Sarah: .... ok. Well, *explains*
Jessie: Damn. Well, I dont think Im gonna come either. I just found out I've gotta go into work early tomorrow to cover for a girl who hurt herself.
Sarah: Ok.
Jessie: But ya'll have fun.
Sarah: Ok.
*both hang up*
Brandon: Are we almost in Birmingham with no place to stay and our posse has just dwindled from 5 to 2?
Sarah: Yup.
Brandon: F#*k.
Sarah: Yup.
Brandon: We can turn around.
Sarah: We're already here. We should at least get dinner.
Brandon: And see the show. Then do you just wanna head home?
Sarah: I guess. Whatever. I feel retarded.
Brandon: Yeah. WAIT! My friend Brittni lives here. She'll let us stay!
*calls and confirms*
Together: *merriment*

Then we got lost on the wrong, and by "wrong" I mean "I think that toddler is carrying a gun" side of town. For about an hour. I've never seen such a confusing setup so full of one-way streets. We finally got turned in the right direction, located the bar, and then found a promising-looking restaurant.
The sushi/Thai place was heavenly. Best rainbow roll I've ever had, by far. The waiter was friendly. The water tasted filtered. Good times. Then we went to the bar, saw the show. The show was great. The speakers were loud. The bathrooms were well-placed. My leg did not make me fall or otherwise embarass me. We hung out with the band for awhile after the show, shootin' the breeze and what-have-you. They're all humorously growing little trash-staches. Funny stuff. Anyway, we headed over to Brittni's house. I'm already a little "meh" about crashing at a stranger's house. Plus, Brandon has a habit of sort of picking up strays, so I have no idea what to expect.

I won't say too much here, except that I was uncomfortable and couldn't wait to get back on the road, and despite the things that I will say another time somewhere else, I am not without thanks that we did not have to sleep in the car. All in all, it was a fun trip. An adventurous, occasionally frightening, high-spirited, outrageous trip with a rag-tag gang of lively characters that keep you on the edge of your seat.

Not really. I've just always wanted to describe one of my experiences like an 80's comedy blurb. But it was a lot of fun.

P.S. Don't ever watch a movie for which a critic from a paper/channel you've never heard of supplies a blurb containing the description "outrageously funny!" or the words "rag-tag gang". It translates to "even stupider than Rat Race".

Monday, July 21, 2008

A little swollen.

Originally uploaded by ladysarahsaint
So I injured my poor leg, pretending to be a horse. Go ahead and snort. Rear your head in a whinny of laughter. Shake your head, and paw at the ground. Whatevs.

This sucks. I mean, aside from the pain and my dad constantly making horse noises in my direction. It's thrown off my balance. I'm no good on crutches and I've already taken a scary spill once, and had a few close calls. I can't really exercise. Can't drive 'cause I can't flex my foot enough to press a pedal. Luckily, I seem to be healing pretty quickly. I think I'll be able to walk very short distances just fine by Wednesday or Thursday. Just going a little stir-crazy in the meantime. I've been sitting still for two days and I feel like I've gotta burn some energy or my head will just pop off.

In other news, Neutral Milk Hotel is awesome. Oh, wait, that's only news to me.

Oh, and there's this: Lucy is apparently getting all kinds of encouragement from officers and the like to put in for warrant officer school. Which would mean he would be going career. It would also mean we wouldn't have to worry about things like money or retirement. It's a big deal. A lot to think about. I can't say I mind the thought of being an officer's wife. There are a lot of pluses. The big minus, and it's a BIG one, is that he would still be subject to deployments for the next 20 years. I know I can handle it. I know he can. The question is if we'll volunteer to.
It's funny, how I always said I'd never marry a military man and here my man is not only military but thinking about going career. Even a couple years ago, I probably would have guessed I would be furious at the arising of a question like this. But really, I'm not. I'm proud that he's being noticed by his higher-ups. I'm also proud that he is considering such an honorable career. The military has shaped my family. My father was a career man. His father served in the Air Force, as did my dad's brother. My maternal grandfather was wounded in WWII. His brother was at Normandy. My Uncle Dan served in the Navy and so did my Uncle Keith, who was on river patrol boats in Vietnam. This is a theme going all the way back to King Philip's war in 1675, fifty years after my ancestor came over on the Mayflower. Patriotism isn't an abstract concept in my family. When we say we support and respect the troops, we mean more than putting a yellow ribbon magnet on our car bumpers. I don't know what I'm getting at here. I guess I just mean to say that I know firsthand the sacrifices a military family makes for their ideals. And despite the tears and worry and loneliness that will inevitably come if we make this decision, I'm proud beyond articulation that Luke is considering it.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Put on your imagination caps.

I wish I knew how to do something more aesthetically interesting with my blogs. LT's upgrading to a whole new .com, PT's got palm trees, and I have...well, look around. It's embarassing. It's a pair of pants that have been worn out for a long time but I don't know where the hipper pants store is. I'ma hafta google "blog redesign super easy".

So, until then, I want everyone to imagine a beige background with a tan-and-moss green houndstooth border. And "Sarah's Saintly Blog" written in Copperplate Gothic, ok?

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Like I can really fit a month into one post.

Wow, it seems I have utterly lost my blogging mojo. My blogergy. My blogspunk.

Actually, there's just been so much going on and the thougts I've had have really been too big and complex (and probably stupid) to try to spit out into a blupdate. Everything's ok, at least I'm holding together pretty well on most days and doing really well on some days. Just as I'm getting a handle on all things homemaker and really started to enjoy the hell out of it and getting really good at it, it's become apparent that I need to get a job in order to maintain this lifestyle later. Pay off credit cards and the car, etc. Then I can go back to taking care of all the members of my family and in-lawed family who are now depending on me, and doing the things I genuinely enjoy, like baking and running a tight home-ship. Ya'll know of anyone hiring? I can do lots of stuff.

Ok, why am I jabbering when I'm really just looking forward to getting around to the best news I've received all year: that Lucy is coming home early! Yup. He was scheduled to be home mid-to-late December, and now their unit's return has been moved up to September. I tear up when I think about it for more than a minute at a time. Two and half months that you dont have to be without someone might not seem like much to you guys, but it really makes a huge world of difference. It's two and a half more months that I get with my buddy, my partner. I can't believe that in roughly two months, he'll be sleeping beside me again. He'll be home for Halloween and Thanksgiving. If he doesn't get redeployed too soon, he may even be around come April and we'll actually get to spend our anniversary together. But we'll see. He has a three-month window where he can't be redeployed and then its back on. But at least we'll have October and November when we thought we wouldn't.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Fun With Texting

Megan: I hate the song "keep bleeding love" by leona lewis. I guarantee u that my dad could sing it just as well
Sarah: It's bad imagery
Megan: Especially if it were karaoke
Sarah: Sang by someone very drunk and suddenly revealing more intense feelings than her date suspected she had
Megan: Yikes! We would be singing "Shot in the dark" by Ozzy to our date

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Good times and great oldies.

I'm sitting down in a house and there is nothing going on right at this moment.

*glances around uneasily*

Yeah. Feels weird. I've been in constant motion lately. Good motion, though:

-Last Saturday, Tamara bravely made the (so we thought) 14 hour drive from Buffalo to Corinth. The actual trip took nearly 20 hours, however, something we havn't yet been able to figure out, especially since she made the return trip in about 14. I stayed up through the duration of the trip here with her, periodically calling and texting and generally trying to keep her awake. She arrived, exhausted but cheerful, and we crashed for a few hours before heading to Memphis later that night to hang with Lindsey. As stated on Lindsey's blog, we crammed as much Memphis and Memphian food as we possibly could into our brief stay. We rode around downtown on the trolley and took a bunch of pictures (and of course they have posted theirs but I have not yet posted mine because I'm LAME), and then went to Quetzal for yummy ice-cream shakes. A hilarious re-telling of the hijinks there may be found here. Tamara and I headed back to Corinth on Sunday afternoon after dining with LT on some sinfully delicious cheese enchiladas and xongos (basically deep-fried cheesecake, a.k.a. orgasm on a plate). We got a little lost on the way back (don't ask; I still don't understand it) and TB rolled on to Savannah to chill with her familia. It was a short visit with my favorite ladies in the world, but an excellent one. You guys are da bomb and I had way more fun in less than 24 hours than I've had in months. Thanks.

-After running errands and doing domestic stuff like trying AGAIN to find the right person to go Frau Blucher on regarding the fuck-up of the stimulus check I was supposed to have already recieved, I packed another bag and drove down to Huntsville to spend the week with Jessica and her husband, Allen. Am I running from something, you ask? I don't know. I wondered that myself, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what it is. Granted, I'm lonely as all hell and was bummed about not being able to spend more time with PT and LT, but nothing really set me over the edge into a frenzied road-tripping mood (which has still not been sated). And not that driving from Corinth to Huntsville is much of a road trip. Hmmm. It's like a trial run. What I really want to do is just pile all my comfy jeans, my music, and my harmonica into my car and set sail (set tire? set wheel?) for the west coast, writing my ass off whenever I stop moving. And yeah, I said harmonica. I'm learning, ok? And ya'll aren't allowed to make fun of me. I'm not sitting at a campfire, watching tumbleweeds. I just like the sound. And it's a lot less likely to get damaged than the viola I've decided to start playing again.

-ANYWAY, so I arrived at Jessie and Allen's and we began dicussing plans for the week. I asked about shows and whatnot in and around Huntsville, and Allen reminded me that I had told them a couple weeks before that American Aquarium was supposed to be playing near them sometime toward the end of May. A quick Myspace check confirmed that they were playing in Sheffield that night, and Allen, being as big a fan as I am, issued a "hell yeah". So we went to the show. I'm not going to spend a lot of time talking about the show or the band, as my feelings are pretty plain in the post below. They rock. That's all I got.

-Spent the next couple days exploring Huntsville and praying to whoever is listening that I wouldn't run into my Ex. You know how everyone has that big Ex with a capital "E", the one you inexplicably can't hate 100% even though you know you'd probably be justified in arson because they're just that evil? Well mine is in Huntsvillle. Anyway, I didn't run into him, which is almost as big a miracle as the fact that I didn't get mowed down navigating crazy Alabama roads.

-Then...oh, then. Friday, Jessie and I dragged Allen to go see the Sex and the City movie. Let me just be still for a second. *sigh* Ok. It was perfect. I wouldn't have changed anything. Well, one thing. At the end when the credits rolled, I would have used the same credit-roll music that the series used on every episode. But that's it. I faithfully watched every episode of that show. I laughed when Samantha incorporated a chair and a bed simultaneously, and when Miranda flashed the wrong neighbor. I cried when Big shattered Carrie's heart-every time. I felt sick when Big married Natasha. I sniffled when Steve finally got through to Miranda and she realized that maybe she can believe. I totally choked up when Smith shaved his head for Samantha when she had to have chemo. And I bawled like a four-year old when Charlotte and Harry finally got their baby. I am invested in these characters. So I was understandably terrified that a movie version would only serve to fuck up perfection. IT DIDN'T. I can't imagine a better way to end it. I feel like I'm actually saying goodbye this time, but it's ok. We're all just moving on, girls.

-Now I'm back home, checking my Blogger and email and Myspace via a real desktop computer rather than my Crackberry, and I'm feeling tired and lazy.

But not so exhausted that I'm not starting another trip on Wednesday ;)

P.S. Can we please contact the visual department and see if we can't nail down a shot of someone actually writing their ass off? Do I know anyone who can draw, say, comics?

American Aquarium: an open letter I won't send.

Dear American Aquarium:

I have been driving a lot recently, and it has come to my attention that no other band quite satisfies my needs concerning road music as well as you do. Your tracks are sing-able, blare-able, and I find that they will keep me awake when highway hypnosis threatens. I relate to several of your songs, and the ones I don't...well, they're super anyway. At the show I attended this past week, I purchased the two new CDs and have found them quite to my liking. I'm particularly impressed with the uncluttered simple beauty of the Bones EP. Seriously, guys...keep making me sniffle, 'cause I can't get enough. I guess that sounds insensitive. It's not like I'm hoping BJ Barham will continue having reasons to write such pretty, heartbreaking lyrics. Luckily, you guys are equally adept at creating rollicking, upbeat tracks that have me wanting to kick my heels up and swill a brewsky...I do neither, though, because as stated, I'm driving. But I totally drum along on my steering wheel.

That's all I got. Keep up the good work, fellas. You make me wish I liked whisky.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Password Drama.

Ok, the passwords have gotten rifreakindiculous. I know it's completely randomized, but I'm paranoid by nature and I can't help but sometimes feel, just a little bit, that Blogger is somehow discriminating against my ISP or something. Or me specifically. Like everyone else is getting passwords like "dsaf" and I have "wkffeweeret".

I wish, oh how I wish, that the blog writer could choose a list of passwords for certain people. My best pals would get gems like "chdesnffer".

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Rainy Days.

Well, shit has it been an emotionally draining week. It's finally calming down. There was some enormously stupid and painful marital drama yesterday, but it's ok now. Studying for finals and completing the take-home tests were excruciating but as of last night, that shit's over until next semester. Yeah, I said the take-home tests were excruciating. My history teacher is downright sadistic with his take-homes. I'd much rather take an in-class, hands down, any day. At least then the test material is basically terms and stuff we've talked about in class. Take-homes are super long and never, ever anything we've talked about in class. And you know how awesome take-homes are so easy you can find all the answers in three seconds just by knowing how to use an index? Not his. It's comprehensive, so you can't just know what the points of Wilson's Fourteen Point Plan are; you've gotta understand that shit, and the causes and effects and implications. There's a reason our final exam was a take-home. Anyway, it's done with and I'm sitting here in a darkened computer room, swilling black coffee and lazily going back and forth between writing on one of my stories and googling Ed and Lorraine Warren. Yup. Tomorrow I'm going to the main campus to enroll for summer courses, and I've got a ton of errands to run, grocery shopping, a tanning bed to jump into, and a spa treatment to schedule and then this weekend I'm going to finally get my yard sale stuff ready to go now that it's the right season. But today, I'm cool to just sit here and listen to the pouring rain and be thankful for my husband, my family, my awesome friends who keep me up when I feel like crashing... and the internet.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008


Today's the big day... my and Luke's three year anniversary. It's the second one that we've spent apart, thanks to the Army. Oh well. Maybe we'll hang together for number 4.

Blargh. I'll get around to posting happier stuff later. Happier stuff does exist.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Unexpected awesomeness.

So back when Lucy was still home, we often discussed taking ballroom dancing classes. We really, really wanted to (especially after seeing how much fun my parents were having with it), but couldn't get our schedules straightened out with me at Cato and him working the night shift. Fast forward, and he's in Iraq. Now, the guys usually have a day off every week., and they generally get a little free time here and there between. There are some activites offered for them, fun stuff to get their minds off the shitty place they're in and whatnot. Apparently, of all things, dance classes are available! So on his days off, he's learning to salsa. In Baghdad. LOL. Awesome.

Stuffy stuffy stuff stuff.

1) I'm approaching the end of the semester, and all the teachers have collectively ganged up on all the students, beating our asses with take-home tests, quizzes, and essays, all of which require a ridiculous amount of studying. So if I seem difficult to get in touch with, it's because I'm in a (mental) deep, dark underground dungeon where everything is chained but the hand I'm using to scribble notes by candlelight. And I have long, gray hair.

2) OMGWTF, HECK YES! AMBRE WON!!!! Daisy=pwned.

3) Yahoo Messenger is the world's greatest invention. Specifically, the utilization of a headset/mic/webcam, so's ladies in places like Mississippi can hear and see their fellas in places like Iraq, for free. The headset is really cool. When I wear it I feel like the wisecracking techie in an action movie. So I get to say things like "That's why you should listen to me" and "This is not good".

4) Anyone hear ever read any Chuck Klosterman? Because I'm reading Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, and I'm pretty sure that he and I have got to be related. Or at least I hope we are.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

It's time.

Daisy? Ambre?
Whassa goin' on??

We're down to the final two. Tonight, we will see which lady Bret chooses to stay and Rock His World(TM). I could pretend that I'm not chomping at the bit, but I think that the existence of this post would eradicate that pretense. I also think that the existence of this post is going to eradicate any pretense of my not being a hopelessly socially inept geek. But that's ok. I'm in good company.

Friday, April 11, 2008


I've been staying at my parents' house a lot recently. I have my own bedroom, bathroom, and amnemities there. No one ever uses my bathroom. So last night I was sitting on the back porch, smoking and noting cautiously that the storm seemed to be weakening. I stubbed out my cigarette and went inside with the intention of using the bathroom and then calling a friend back. A particularly creepy part of a story I'm writing was on my mind, and I was thinking of this as I opened the bathroom door upon a naked, yelling woman. My heart jumped up into my nose and I jumped into the air. I screamed and made protective gestures against the flailing entity, before my brain told me that it was just my mother. My mom, who was using my shower because the shower head in her bathroom had broken. My poor, poor mom. How humiliating, not only to have someone walk in on you nkaed, but for that someone to have such a violent, horrified reaction. I mean, I was so startled that when I jumped back, I twisted my ankle, and am now limping. I explained later that I was already creeped out before I opened the door and that the very unexpected sight of a person in a place where I never see other people was quite disconcerting. I hope she got that. 'Cause I know I would just feel beastly if someone twisted an ankle trying to escape my nudity.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Internet Party

Cracked is my favorite.

Monday, March 31, 2008

History's Mysteries.

I've been perusing through blog archives today. A quick skim through my own (this blog will turn 2 years old this November), but mainly through others', spanning over several years. A lot of the entries made me laugh out loud. Some stung a little. Some made me very pensive, just staring into space, sitting at my desk with my chin propped in one hand and thinking. It's interesting to me to go back and read these day-to-day records of things my friends have done and gone through and felt, and to see them as the people they were before I even knew them more than peripherally or when we were on the outs or when we had just lost touch for awhile. To see, as much as a blog can allow, some of the things that shaped them into the people whose company I so enjoy now. What amazing women I know.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Oh, and...

So it's been a little while since my last post. What can I say? It's been a weird time for me. I've been a few rungs above depressed, but not chipper enough to muster enough energy to do much of anything constructive. I am coming out of it (for real).

Let's see. Luke is fine. It's apparently hot in Baghdad, and his CO evidently can't give out much more info than that. We (Luke and I, not the CO and I...silly) had a nice date today. He took me to a quiet little Yahoo Messenger room on the corner, and we had a lovely long chat. Hey, we make the most of what we've got to work with. I'm purchasing a webcam in the morning so's he can see me. (The computer he's borrowing until his new laptop gets shipped to him already has a cam, so I could see him today. Rock.)

I just interviewed for a part time job at the local newspaper, to work in the classifieds department. Sounds perfect for what I need right now. The only way I'm going to work this summer is if it's part-time, or strictly physical full-time. I'll dig ditches. I'll weedeat at Shiloh park. I'll hold "slow" signs on the highway. But don't make me think. I need to zone out and save my mental energy for school, 'cause dammit, I'm getting through it this time. I need to stay focused even if I'm bored to tears, and any job whose stress follows me home is going to hinder my ability to focus.

Is everyone else as happy as I am to see leaves and flowers sprouting? Spring is here! Can I get an amen?! I predict two more cold snaps and then, oh, glorious warmth. Warmth that makes you want to sprawl on the ground and absorb sunshine like a lizard.

Yeah, like a lizard.

That's all I can think of right now. Maybe when I start leaving the quiet historic district for more than trips to school and back (ok, and Sonic... strawberry limeades keep me going), I'll have more to talk about.

Oh! Anyone who hasn't done so already needs to go out right now and rent White Noise. Go to the first scene. Ok? Now skip ahead to the next scene. Repeat until the movie is over and go to the bonus features. The alternate method to this is to put the DVD in and go straight to the bonus features. Whatever. It's your call. Once you get there, watch said bonus features. Creeeeepy. A zillion times scarier than the movie. Very curious phenomenon, that EVP.

Perhaps this'll get me goin'.

Tamara tagged me! Dese here's da rules: you take each line and replace it with a single word of your choosing. Yes, just one word!! Afterward, tag seven folks…

You’re feeling: untouched
To your left: phone
On your mind: writing
Last meal included: soup
You sometimes find it hard to: relax
The weather: rainy
Something you have a collection of: pigs
A smell that cheers you up: strawberries
A smell that can ruin your mood: Counce
How long since you last shaved: yesterday
The current state of your hair: straightened
The largest item on your desk right now (besides computer): lamp
Your skill with chopsticks: majestic
Which section you head to first in the bookstore: bargain
And after that?: bestsellers
Something you are craving: Luke
Your general thoughts on the presidential race: quagmire
How many times have you been hospitalized this year: zero
A favorite place to go for quiet time: home
You’ve always secretly thought you’d be a good: mom
Something that freaks you out a little: kelp
Something you’ve eaten too much of lately: macaroni
You have never: skydived
You never want to: combust

And since Tamara and Lindsey have already tagged me and they're basically the only Bloggers I know, I'm reaching out to Myspace. My tag-ees are:

Luke, Brandon, Casey, Tobi, Phaedra, Candace, Brandie

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I got a text message from Luke at about 9:30 CST last night (5:30 am AST), letting me know that they had landed safely in Baghdad and were on their way to their tents. He also sent a picture. He sent one a couple days ago, with camels in the background. What a culture shock. Now that he's over there, I'm really feeling the worry. It is nothing, nothing, nothing like his being gone last summer for training, and nothing like his being gone over the holidays, or even his being in Kuwait, because it's at least safer there. This is horrible. It's absolutely the worst fear I've ever known. You can't even google "Baghdad" and not find some recent new body count. I can't even wrap my head around the fact that my husband is currently in a place where people are actively trying to kill each other and trying to kill anyone in an outfit like his. I don't know how long it would take for me to know if something happened to him, or how I would be told. I'm going to go crazy if I don't stop thinking about it like that, but how can I? I have to think of something else.

Like that I've been talked into being a chili competition judge this Saturday. Huh.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Just a simple caveman blogger.

I wish I had the knowledge/tools to smush these two images together.

Thursday, February 14, 2008


I just got flowers! Delivered to my desk! My husband is da bomb!

*does happy flowers-at-work dance*

I know.

I know it's one of the most contrived, commercialized holidays in existence. I know that it exists primarily for greeting card companies and flower shops and candy makers to get all excited over a gee-eye-normous profit, and that walking into Walmart and being confronted with the sight of balloons and pink heart-emblazoned coffee mugs and cheap red silky boxer shorts, I want to throw up in my mouth a little.

But I still wish he could be here for it.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Noteworthy, in Sarah's world:

1) Made a trip to Memphis this past weekend to visit with Lindsey. We had a great time. And went to Voodoo Village! I'd really like to jazz this up, but the only people who read this blog also read Lindsey's blog, so you've likely already read all about it and gotten the willies over the freaky, freaky pics. (You have to say "freaky, freaky" in Jemaine-as-Bowie style.)

2) Have rededicated myself (this morning) to vegansim. I fell off track for, oh, about three weeks, during which time I consumed enough animal to last about a year. To re-motivate myself, I'm re-reading Skinny Bitch. Excellent book. I haven't yet encountered anything that can so effectively make me feel fat and gluttonous but yet still fill me with hope.

3) Luke's supposed to be getting a pass!!!!!!!! *squeal* The word from the FRG (that's Family Readiness Group, for you civilians) is that the guys will be granted leave from the 21st to the 25th and that they can go to Philadelphia or Atlantic City (or wherever, as long as they stay within a certain mile radius of the base). We're in agreement to stay in Philly, since that's the nearest airport I can fly into anyway, and HELLO, it's Philadelphia! Like, the same Philadelphia the founding fathers hung out in. It's also the same Philadelphia that I've never been to. So while a majority of our time will undoubtedly be spent indoors, there will be some sight-seeing going on. Perhaps now is an excellent time to purchase that new camera. I'm getting so excited about this trip. Can't wait to see my honey!

4) I'm also re-reading The Witching Hour, which is taking me forfrickinever between work, school, homework, visiting in-laws, ghost-hunting, filing my taxes, and planning a trip. But it's every bit as awesome as it was the last time I read it. Just sitting down with it is like hunkering down and visiting with an old friend. A friend I find delightful and attractive, that is. I know I've got a big disappointment waiting at the end, but I just can't stop.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Not so irrational.


45 dead so far. This article doesn't mention it, but two people died in Savannah when Sharon Baptist church collapsed. I heard that a family in Saltillo died when their trailer blew over, but I'm thinking that's just a rumor. None of the local channels have mentioned it and everyone seems to have heard it from someone who heard it.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

As long as we're on the subject of irrational fear.

Things that scare me, even if I can't figure out why:

1) Old Hag. I have probably spoken to both LT and PT about this. I suffer, in a very real way, from sleep paralysis. Part of my experience is the classic "old hag". I understand that there are explanations for this, but I refuse to believe that, for centuries, people have had the same/similar hallucination without there being something behind it. And it's terrifying.

2) Icebergs. For example, even though I know it's a fake, this picture makes my throat clench up. This one is truly bizarre. I know that this thing cannot possibly hurt me unless I borrow someone's plane and intentionally jump out as I'm flying over the iceberg and land on it. But it still scares me.

3) Giant kelp. Seriously. Thankfully, it's not much of a nuisance in Mississippi. But every time I go to California, I know it's out there, slowly drifting back and forth, growing a foot a day, and thinking about how it's going to wrap aound one of my limbs if I look at it.

4) Sometimes, the dark.

5) The way my teeth feel when I bite the sleeve of my sweater. And I do it anyway.

6) The Harrison house. This is a house that is currently owned by the Park Service (specifically, Shiloh). It was formerly owned by (you guess it) a family by the name of Harrison, who moved out in a big hurry due to undisclosed family stuff. They also claimed that the house was intolerably haunted. This is not speculation or tall-tale-telling. This was about six years ago, and the family actually mentioned this to some of the Park employees. The Park bought the house and let some of the archeologists stay in it during the 2003 Indian Mound excavation. Delicately speaking, at some point hell must have broken loose in this house. It is the single most creepy place I can recall being. I did my share of partying there that summer with the archys and I can say that there are some parts of the house that are horror-novel scary. For example, there were two rooms that absolutely no one would sleep in. The one upstairs because it was "too noisy", what with footsteps and a door that opened and shut on its own, and the one downstairs because you could (no joke) literally just feel something bad in there. One of the archys was a Native American who actually requested to be moved to another house because even after burning sage and taking her own religious precautions, she still felt too scared to stay. There was another bedroom downstairs that had this odd little door that led to a teeny room. Not a full closet. Just a teeny tiny room, just tall enough to sit down in. On the outside of this door were locks. And on the walls of this teeny room was crayon-scribbling and scratch marks. *shudder* Brandon even claimed to have seen something shadowy in one of the rooms. I was in Shiloh this past weekend and, for the hey of it, I drove over to the house. It hasn't been used since fall of 2003. Everything is all weedy and grown-over. There are vines all over the porch and the columns. And as soon as I started going up the steps, I felt like something was pulling me down. Not like hands or anything. Like the air around my feet turned viscous. I went and stood on one end of the porch, and it felt electric. So weird. I stepped up to the front door and tried to peer in through the clouded glass panels. I did this for a minute, and then I got the disctinct feeling that something was looking back at me. That did it for me, and I left. Now, I know how incredibly hokey that all sounds, but next time either of you ladies are in the Savannah/Saltillo/Corinth area, I'm personally hauling your ass over there to just feel that shit. PT, you said you wanted to experience something like that, well there ya go.

7)Choking. I'm terrified of choking, which is in blatant contradiction to my compulsive habit of swallowing whole bites of food/hard candy/mushrooms/brussells sprouts/etc.

8)The moment right before I open a closed shower curtain.

"It's not coming...it's already here!"




The difference between my posting this and Tamara posting her own severe weather stuff is that she gets gleeful when there's a threat of apocalyptic winds. I get frozen with all-consuming, religion-rediscovering, aware-of-my-own-mortality terror. The word "tornado" makes my stomach grumble and I suddenly feel very, very tired. If no one hears from me for awhile, it's because I'm in my neighbor's basement with a book, a flashlight, and three jugs of water and I'm not coming out until I hear birds singing.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008


Scream was TWELVE years ago. 1996. Dizzamn.

I'm checking it/So hot, so hot/Wonder if you know/You're on my radar


Nope, still nothin' much to talk about. It's a cold, bleak January day and all I want to do is re-read The Witching Hour and the world won't let me.

I started to write a poem, an ode to my double soy latte, but I can't because I've got a Britney Spears song blasting in my head ("Radar" for those who could want to know) and I don't know why. But its pounding beat and fast, insipid lyrics are making it impossible for me to do anything but submit to its demand that I subtly bob my head.

Friday, January 25, 2008

The Untold Danger of Eating Sushi

That you may unknowingly get wasabi under your fingernail and go to rub your eye, causing 1) sudden, breathtakingly painful leaking of the eyes and nose that lasts several minutes and 2) uncontrollable laughter among your table-mates.

*This title was blatantly hijacked from theogeo.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Is it ridiculous...

...that in my breaks, I've spent the morning reading about the Amy Fisher case over on www.crimelibrary.com? Or that I'm looking forward to reading the "files" on Ted Bundy? Or that I'm eagerly aniticipating the "Abnormal" chapeter in my Psych class 'cause then I'll feel somehow qualified to form opinions as to why some people become violent nut jobs?* Hey, beats Myspace. I've thought about actually studying Psychology full-on and getting a degree. One step at a time, though. Let's get this accounting accomplished and move from there.

*I am not down with the glamorization of said nut jobs, especially when there are movies made that almost make the suffering of real people seem comical, like the last Bundy film that was made. I am down with trying to figure them out. Any ideas on nature/nurture anyone would like to share?

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Modest Mouse - Devil's Workday

If life would be so kind as to issue a soundtrack, I'd like to request that this ditty be used as background music for this week in Sarah's life. Thanks!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Back in school! Starting tonight, in fact. Woohoo!

Monday, January 07, 2008

Well, I dropped Luke back off at the airport last Wednesday. Sucks, sucks, sucks. More on that over on SF.

In other news, it's a new year with new opportunities and all that jazz. My resolutions have been posted on SWL, but I'll go 'head and re-post here.

1) To not consume animal products unless there is genuinely no other option and I must eat.
2) That's too hard. Let's go with outlawing blatant meat products first, like actual beef and pork and chicken. Baby steps. Weaning.
3) To combine conscious eating with healthful exercise to acheive a truly healthy and attractive weight for my structure. Not for Naomi Watts's structure, or Angelina Jolie's structure (though my envy of her will never die), but my structure, which includes broad shoulders and wide hips and always will.
4) To present myself with a gift in the form of a boob job when this weight loss is completed. Homegirl's in a double D, and will most assuredly need a lift and possibly a reduction to prevent back problems (and to not have the bosoms of a grandmother until I am a grandmother).
5) To attend at least one semester of school.
6) To send something to my husband every day, even when I'm tired/sick/whatever, even if it's just a postcard to let him know he's still and always on my mind.
7) To pay at least 50% off my car.
8) To travel at least a couple times past the Memphis/Nashville/Huntsville radius.
9) To establish a daily routine in which I can relax, educate myself about something, go the extra mile from "Well, I'm clean and moisturized" to "I am masterfully groomed and polished", and do something entirely mindless like watching the new season of Flavor of Love . And I know I'm not the only one anticipating that last one.
10) To keep at least three of these resolutions.

So there it is. An extension of the grooming mentioned in #9 is to actually use up all of the beauty products that are already in my house before buying new ones. Seriously. I have a Victoria's Secret/Bath & Body Works bonanza in every cubby, cabinet, and closet of my house and I just keep buying more crap. So that's ending now. I've selected ONE body wash (B&BW Cinnamon Bun Heaven, because I don't like it much and want to use it up first) and coordinating lotion, ONE heavy-duty lotion for pampering nights, shampoo, conditioner, shaving cream, face-wash and lotion, and dumped all the rest into a box on the highest shelf in my house. I can only get into that box when I've completely finished a product. I can only buy a new product when there are no more of that type of product left in the box. I'm thinking I'm gonna be pretty well set for at least six months.