A quest to make sense of it all. Or a sense to make a quest of it all.

Friday, November 30, 2007

The time has come to purchase a long-ish cardigan-type black sweater. Preferably belted. I'm not sure how I've lasted this long in an office environment without one. Now that it's been established that my coworkers and I will never agree on appropriate thermostat setting, it's time that I, as the only person whining "It's so cold!", back down and layer up. With the standard "I'm still hip!!" cube rat sweater. If I don't, I'm afraid I'll fall into the Southern Office Womens' Pit of Tackiness, complete with a turtleneck under a sweatshirt (pendant necklace optional), white sneakers with Liz Claiborne jeans, and a UT throw draped across the back of my chair.
Ok, first off, I've gotta say that I must see Teeth. I've gotta find a theater that's playing it first, but then I'm so going to watch it.

After reading about it, I wiki'd "vagina dentata" and stumbled across an anti-rape device called Rapex. (My apologies if everyone already knows about this; it's news to me). It's basically a female condom, but the interior is lined with tiny barbs that attach to the skin of the rapist's penis, thus forcing the rapist to seek medical attention. This kills a few birds in one stone: 1) the rape is not completed 2) the rapist will be apprehended whether or not the woman reports the rape, 3) revenge, f*cker!!, and 4) it protects against STD transmission and pregnancy (what guy could get off in THAT situation??).

Sounds awesome, right? But I'm wondering how easily this could be abused. There are already known cases of date rape in which the victim later admitted that the sex had been consensual. It takes a bad, bad woman to use a false accusation of rape as some kind of revenge or to make a mistake look like something she dodn't have a choice in. Betcha there are lower types who would use this device to frame a guy. Girl wants to date boy, boy doesn't want to date girl. Boy and girl are at a party in which girl lets boy know that she'll put out, no strings attached. Boy takes up girl on offer, boy gets barbs in his pecker and girl yells "rape" and since there's indisputable proof that there was an "unwanted" penis in girl, her word weighs more than his. Yeah, it sounds like a bad movie, but it could happen. (Ok, it sounds like a really bad movie, but yeah.)

Monday, November 26, 2007

Wal-Mart, you can just take a long walk off a short dock. We're over. This has been coming for awhile.

I'd like to address yesterday's shopping trip:

We'll just skim over the actual shopping portion of the trip, complete with general dirtiness of store, items in wrong places with wrong prices, near-death experiecnes from careless associates with overstacked pallets of laundry detergent, and associates who know less about the section they've worked in for fifteen years than I know about diesel engines. We're gonna skip right up to the checkout, 'cause that's where we really went wrong, in my heart.

*Sorry-Ass-Cashier scans bleach and throws it in a bag with meat. Sarah switches bleach to an appropriate bag while loading the cart for the cashier. SAC announces total and stands there while Sarah continues to put bags in cart. Sarah tries to hand SAC a debit card, which she knows SAC is trained to process. SAC stands with hand on hip and nods toward card processing machine. Sarah swipes card and proceeds to write down total of transaction in checkbook register*

SAC: Debit or credit?
Sarah: Debit.
SAC: You have to hit "debit".

*Sarah stops writing, loses place in checkbook register, hits debit, turns back to checkbook register*

SAC: Do you want cash back?
Sarah: No, thank you.
SAC: You have to hit "no".

*Sarah complies and starts to put wallet back in purse*

SAC: Ok total.
Sarah: I'm sorry?

*Sarah looks up. SAC is chewing own tail and gazing at a flickering light panel*

Sarah: I'm sorry, what did you say?
SAC: You have to hit "ok".

*Sarah complies and starts to put the rest of the bags in cart. SAC hands Sarah a receipt while facing the other direction and mumbling something about a nice day, as she begins scanning someone else's purchases. Sarah hauls ass to get the last of the bags in cart so as not to leave anything behind or get anything mixed up with the next customer's stuff. SAC unhinges jaw, eats next customer*

Monday, November 12, 2007

Ok, after watching some of the videos at http://www.goveg.com/, I'm thoroughly disgusted with the large meat/dairy producers. Well, I'm disgusted with any animal-product producer that is cruel to the animals.

I don't have a problem with eating meat (yet). I do have a problem with the animals being kept in cramped, filthy spaces and being killed inhumanely. This moral dilemma leaves me with three options:

1) Take up hunting, and only eat the animals I myself shoot, and thus be assured that they had the most earthy upbringing possible and were quickly and painlessly dispatched.
2) Pay oodles of money to an organic/free-range/cruelty-free provider as close as possible to my city. I can't think of any, so I'll probably have to pay oodlles and a half to find one reasonably close and have my purchases shipped.
3) Go vegan. This is honestly the least attractive option to me. Even the idea of the standard french-braid and ugly boots that are the domain of hunter-women everywhere doesn't seem like that huge a price to pay when compared to the sucktitude of giving up milk, cheese, and eggs. And chicken. Beef, I can totally do without. I'm not that big of a fan of it. So no problem there; I'll take one of these over beef any day. And I've been halfway-avoiding pork for awhile, just because I think pigs are some of the cutest creatures on the planet (prosciutto is my weakness;it's the only pork product I regularly consume). But chicken? Dairy products? I need these things to (happily) survive.

So, yeah. If there are any options I'm overlooking, please share them. Because I don't want to give up certain products but can no longer buy them under the Kroger brand without shame.

Just sayin'.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Moved into the new place, and it's wonderful. Since Luke's gonna be gone for so long, we decided to downsize. Less space to maintain, less money, yada yada. But we found the cutest duplex ever, for less money than we were paying previously, and it's actually waaaay better. The bedroom is smaller but cozy with awesome natural light. Long hallway, which provides a solution to the dilemma of where to hang pictures that have sentimental value but that I don't want in the living room or bedroom. The kitchen is smaller in length but has more counter space. The living room and dining room are separated by french doors (great for directing heat, by the way). The living room has a gas fireplace and built-in bookcases, and the dining room has a built-in china cabinet, so I finally have a place to put mine. Our neighbors are two very sweet men named Mark and Mitch who manage a barbecue restaurant (I can't make that up). Pictures will soon be posted on my Flickr, along with some shots of the Corinth Cemetary Walk from Saturday. That's basically where the historical societies have members dress up as prominent figures from the city's history and stand next to their graves, telling people about their lives and the impact they had on the town. Sort of a classier Halloween-y thing. My dad was Martin Siegrist, who designed and built the Curlee-Verandah House for Hamilton Mask, one of the town's co-founders. And since Marty was from Switzerland, you know that Tom Parson had to do the whole thing with an impressive Swiss accent. Yeah. That's how we roll. Anyway, Dad was a real hit (even made the newspaper...again!) and everyone loved the accent. He enjoyed the acting so much that he's decided to join Corinth's acting guild. Anyway, the Walk was fun and educational and well worth the price of admission.

In other news, I've (finally) recently purchased an iPod, and it has become my child. How did I ever live without this tiny piece of technology??? How did I exercise? Well, that's answered easily enough: not very well and not very often. Seriously, it's 17 times more enjoyable to run now. I've been doing a "Couch to 5k" podcast a couple times a week and it's really helpful, even if the chosen music is kinda lame. I've got my iTunes library set up at work now and thus am the hippest person at the office, or at least I've caught up with the hip people. (Eff you, Pandora.com; I've got a new friend and she lets me play what I want.) And for time in my new big ol' bathtub, I've even got a designated playlist for "chillaxing". Ha. This is so much fun!



P.S. You're still cool, Pandora. I've just found someone who fits my needs better, and it's so new and exciting...you understand. I know you do.