A quest to make sense of it all. Or a sense to make a quest of it all.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Wal-Mart, you can just take a long walk off a short dock. We're over. This has been coming for awhile.

I'd like to address yesterday's shopping trip:

We'll just skim over the actual shopping portion of the trip, complete with general dirtiness of store, items in wrong places with wrong prices, near-death experiecnes from careless associates with overstacked pallets of laundry detergent, and associates who know less about the section they've worked in for fifteen years than I know about diesel engines. We're gonna skip right up to the checkout, 'cause that's where we really went wrong, in my heart.

*Sorry-Ass-Cashier scans bleach and throws it in a bag with meat. Sarah switches bleach to an appropriate bag while loading the cart for the cashier. SAC announces total and stands there while Sarah continues to put bags in cart. Sarah tries to hand SAC a debit card, which she knows SAC is trained to process. SAC stands with hand on hip and nods toward card processing machine. Sarah swipes card and proceeds to write down total of transaction in checkbook register*

SAC: Debit or credit?
Sarah: Debit.
SAC: You have to hit "debit".

*Sarah stops writing, loses place in checkbook register, hits debit, turns back to checkbook register*

SAC: Do you want cash back?
Sarah: No, thank you.
SAC: You have to hit "no".

*Sarah complies and starts to put wallet back in purse*

SAC: Ok total.
Sarah: I'm sorry?

*Sarah looks up. SAC is chewing own tail and gazing at a flickering light panel*

Sarah: I'm sorry, what did you say?
SAC: You have to hit "ok".

*Sarah complies and starts to put the rest of the bags in cart. SAC hands Sarah a receipt while facing the other direction and mumbling something about a nice day, as she begins scanning someone else's purchases. Sarah hauls ass to get the last of the bags in cart so as not to leave anything behind or get anything mixed up with the next customer's stuff. SAC unhinges jaw, eats next customer*

2 comments:

casey said...

Cant argue with you there! Walmart is the worst store ever! I drive 40 minuted north of where I live to shop at a Super Target! Ahhhh the luxury of a clean store with correct prices and wide asles! Oh and lets not forget the associates who know what they are doing adn are willing to help!!! Ahh the luxury of not shopping at walmart! Oh but then they gas had to go to 3.29 a gallon adn had to retreat back to walmart so I feel your pain!

palm tree said...

I mega-loathe Wal-Mart and all its dirty, skank-goblin employees and all their dirty, skank-goblin children.