A quest to make sense of it all. Or a sense to make a quest of it all.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Okay. For those of you looking for a movie to go see, "Bug" is not what you're looking for, no matter what you're looking for. Don't do it. I want those two hours of my life back. It's getting really mixed reviews, which I don't understand because everyone should hate this movie. It's already starting the childish, tired "But it's ART" debate.

Person One: "That sucked."
Person Two: "It was beautiful. It was Art."
P1: "I don't see anything particularly artistic about one-trick-pony Ashley Judd to begin with, and I think that her sniffly, crazy damsel-in-skank-distress trick has hit an all-time low since being combined with William Friedkin's need to take an audience hostage rather than catching their attention."
P2: *rolls eyes* "You just didn't understand it."
P1: "No, no...we all got it. It's just that what little there is to be got is so stinky, you wish there was indeed something left to get. Nope, got it the first time. It's bad. Baaaaad."
P2: "I'll bet you liked Spiderman 3."
P1: "I didn't see Spiderman 3."
P2: "Well you should have because that's the type of movie people like YOU like. You just have to have everything spoon-fed to you. You and your preconcieved notions. Try opening your mind. Think outstide your little box."
P1: "It's bad. Baaaaad. And you'd know it if you pulled your head out of Micahel Shannon's ass." *snatches black beret off P2's head and smacks him with it*

In all fairness, it could have been ok (not good, but ok) if it had continued to quietly chug along in the third act. But no. It had to **SPOILERS AHEAD, SPOILERS AHEAD** go careening into absolute insanity. I know, I know, that's the point- they're crazy and there's no real rhyme or reason. Whatever. That's no excuse for poor scripting. The finale, with its diarrhea-of-the-mouth and Ashley Judd's crazyass exclmation of "I am the mother bug" before setting herself ablaze... it's fuckin' retarded, folks, to put it delicately. Avoid.

When the best part of a movie is Harry Connick, Jr. mimicing slipping on linoleum, it's a good idea to just shelve it.

8 comments:

palm tree said...

As long as you knocked the cigarette out of P2's mouth with his own black beret then you have my support. ;)

There are so many movies I want to watch right now, and they're all fuzzy films like Shrek the Third, Over the Hedge, and the third Pirates.

Sigh. I'm such an old woman.

sarah saint said...

I saw Pirates the other night. I enjoyed it more than the second one, which makes me the only person with that preference. It was probably Keith Richards's presence that won me over.

palm tree said...

You know, Alicia misses my days of being a souse. She says that I used to get drunk and stagger like Johnny Depp in Pirates mixed with Keith Richards.

I demand that you upload a picture for Blogger so it appears next to your comments!

sarah saint said...

I demand that you tell me how. I mean, break it down. Simple caveman copmuter user here.

You know what I'd LOVE to have as my default picture on Myspace? The panel from BOL of Holly leaning under the coffee pot with her mouth open.

Actually, I recently took some picture's with my dad's digital and he's going to show me how to do all that tonight. I've cut my hair and lost a little weight, and I feel that the world should see.

palm tree said...

Coolio. Log into Blogger, go to your dashboard and click on Edit Profile. Scroll down to the photograph heading, and where it says Enter Photo URL, enter the URL of the photo you want to use. In the meantime, copy and paste this URL into that field:

http://mail.google.com/mail/photos/ladysarahsaint%40hotmail.com?wd7j7x-zeeasj&sml=1&rp=1

See if that doesn't work.

I expect to see photo comments VERY soon!

palm tree said...

As far as releasing BOL pics for your use, let me get the damn site up and running again first. The only thing I ask is that you credit me for the icon and provide a link to my site. That would rock Holly's world. You know what a credit-monger she is. It's her, not me. ;)

sarah saint said...

I no think it worked.

sarah saint said...

No. I've done it like four times. It knows I had to ask.